Mother/Daughter Relationship

Before I publish this I want to apologize for the jumbled, scattered thoughts of this article. I was seething mad, very heartbroken; and just generally wanted to get points across on the subject.

The mother/daughter relationship has been classified as many things: good and bad, but in the end, it is known deep down that your mother protects you, loves you, and would do anything for you. So what happens when the one person you trust at birth displaces that trust?

I just read an article on just that recently that did just that. The mother is accused of trying to sell her daughter’s virginity and other sexual acts to men for at least $10,000. As a “bonus” the mother sent pictures to interested men of her daughter scantily clad. I have read a few of these type of situations like this: a mother tries to sell her young child on e-bay to men for sex, another on craigslist, another on a website. These articles, these women, these mother’s make me cry and again want to scoop up these children and bring them to safety. Teach them how love is supposed to be, and that there mother was wrong.

When these mother’s are brought to “justice” my heart soars for these children, but although they may be “vindicated” are they truly? I want this to stop, I want mother’s to be the best mother’s they can be – strive to be the best.

I am so honored to be a part of Love146, to see all they do, all they strive to be. I love how they have a Round Home for the victims to help them in various ways. My wish is there were round homes everywhere, but most importantly is one day; these round homes do not exist – because they will not be a need. I know this is a tall-ordered wish, but I cannot help it.


Heavy heart on Spirit Day

I woke up this morning to a heartbreaking story. 15 year old, Jamie Hubley, from my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario committed suicide on Saturday. He was an openly gay youth who battled depression due to being bullied for being open about his sexuality. I immediately thought back to Bethany Joy Galeotti's amazing blog post, American Gossip Epidemic, and I want to take this declaration a step further and talk about the "Bullying Epidemic".

Many of you reading this have probably been bullied at one time in your life. I was bullied as a young girl struggling with her weight. I was called "thunder" and "earthquake". It got to the point where I feared walking to the store because of the constant name-calling. At the time, I felt shame. I was mad at myself to not fitting into what everyone "deemed" normal. I didn't blame the bullies. I was never angry at them. I turned that anger towards myself.

The truth is that it wasn't my fault. I did not deserve the harsh words. It was not Jamie Hubley's fault. It was not Tyler Clementi's fault. It was NOT YOUR FAULT. No one deserves to be bullied. NO ONE! And I am getting tired of the fact that it not only exists but also seems to be growing and adapting to today's technology.

How many of these heartbreaking stories is it going to take until bullying is eliminated? When are the "bullies" going to realize that their words are KILLING people?! When are we going to stop feeling the need to "other" people? I wish polarizing words like "popularity", "in crowd", "the cool kids" didn't exist. In order to validate that status, you need to have a group of people who don't fit the rules of "coolness". People need to fight to make sure that they feel important by taking that importance away from others. It's sickening!

WE ARE ALL HUMAN! We are all an equally important life on this earth! It's time we be more accepting of EVERYONE! It's time we stop judging others and start understanding them. It's time to learn how to RESPECT each other. We need to go beyond "tolerating" to "embracing" each others' differences.

If you're being bullied right now, please don't blame yourself. Don't let that pain take your life away. You are WORTH being here. You are just as important as those who have made you feel subhuman. If anything, you should feel sorry for them. They obviously have anger and hate in their hearts and have directed it upon someone so innocent. You are amazing, and I hope you tell yourself that every day.

If you're struggling, don't be afraid to seek help. There are local helplines, group sessions, and so many online resources that are created to help you. If I had known about these resources, maybe my self esteem wouldn't be so broken right now. There's a strength in realizing you are in pain, and by meeting others with similar experiences/feelings, you won't feel so alone.

We are all in this together!

xo Stephanie