I woke up this morning to a heartbreaking story. 15 year old, Jamie Hubley, from my hometown of Ottawa, Ontario committed suicide on Saturday. He was an openly gay youth who battled depression due to being bullied for being open about his sexuality. I immediately thought back to Bethany Joy Galeotti's amazing blog post, American Gossip Epidemic, and I want to take this declaration a step further and talk about the "Bullying Epidemic".
Many of you reading this have probably been bullied at one time in your life. I was bullied as a young girl struggling with her weight. I was called "thunder" and "earthquake". It got to the point where I feared walking to the store because of the constant name-calling. At the time, I felt shame. I was mad at myself to not fitting into what everyone "deemed" normal. I didn't blame the bullies. I was never angry at them. I turned that anger towards myself.
The truth is that it wasn't my fault. I did not deserve the harsh words. It was not Jamie Hubley's fault. It was not Tyler Clementi's fault. It was NOT YOUR FAULT. No one deserves to be bullied. NO ONE! And I am getting tired of the fact that it not only exists but also seems to be growing and adapting to today's technology.
How many of these heartbreaking stories is it going to take until bullying is eliminated? When are the "bullies" going to realize that their words are KILLING people?! When are we going to stop feeling the need to "other" people? I wish polarizing words like "popularity", "in crowd", "the cool kids" didn't exist. In order to validate that status, you need to have a group of people who don't fit the rules of "coolness". People need to fight to make sure that they feel important by taking that importance away from others. It's sickening!
WE ARE ALL HUMAN! We are all an equally important life on this earth! It's time we be more accepting of EVERYONE! It's time we stop judging others and start understanding them. It's time to learn how to RESPECT each other. We need to go beyond "tolerating" to "embracing" each others' differences.
If you're being bullied right now, please don't blame yourself. Don't let that pain take your life away. You are WORTH being here. You are just as important as those who have made you feel subhuman. If anything, you should feel sorry for them. They obviously have anger and hate in their hearts and have directed it upon someone so innocent. You are amazing, and I hope you tell yourself that every day.
If you're struggling, don't be afraid to seek help. There are local helplines, group sessions, and so many online resources that are created to help you. If I had known about these resources, maybe my self esteem wouldn't be so broken right now. There's a strength in realizing you are in pain, and by meeting others with similar experiences/feelings, you won't feel so alone.
We are all in this together!
xo Stephanie
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ReplyDeleteMy thoughts aren't exactly tied uo together but here they are:
ReplyDeleteWhat we need now is to understand one another. To understand other people and see beyond our differences is to accept our own selves. Life could be better with every person realizing that the differences that distinct us from one another are the same ones that truly connect us. You and I deserve to be understood.
If you are being bullied right now, please don't give up. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to pull through, one step at a time. Don't sell yourself short. No one says it would be easy but you can do this. It gets better. Today, you may be broken but you are beautiful and you have hope.
And yes, let's be kind, especially to ourselves. Bullies don't know how to be kind to themselves. Thus, they don't know how to be kind to others. They allow themselves to be swayed by societal pressure. Hence the need to put pressure on others. It's a ripple effect. It is not hard to be kind to others if we know how to be kind first and foremost to ourselves.